No Coincidences, But Still
Do things happen by accident or for a reason? Does it matter?
Freud said there is no such thing as a coincidence, and there’s some truth in that statement. Freud’s student Jung wrote a book called Synchronicity about meaningful coincidence, which seems like an oxymoron but it’s also thought-provoking. Do things happen by accident or for a reason? Does it matter?
Some encounters affect us deeply. They surprise us and even seemingly defeat us, but the lessons we learn shape us and move us along on our journeys. They make us who we are.
Years ago I went to a bank event for leading investors. I wasn’t exactly invited, but I heard about it from a friend who thought it would be good for me to go, and then my boss let me use his official invitation. It changed my life, not in the way of a sudden, earth-shaking epiphany, but as an event whose significance trickles in overtime.
The wine was good, I was feeling gregarious, and I was able to connect with industry people I hadn’t seen for a while. They introduced me to others, including the CEO of a groundbreaking company that was just getting off the ground. I eventually joined that company and worked there for five transformative years. How different my life would have been if I’d stuck with my original plan and joined my friends at our neighborhood bar!
Years ago I was finance director at a sexy startup and a series of crazy events sent us spinning sideways. The CEO of the company that acquired us drove his car into a tree a week after the acquisition, a deal on our books turned out to be worth a tenth of what we’d projected, and a colleague who’d put me down time after time in front of our coworkers got fired after far too much drama.
It was a challenging time, even awful in some ways. But it prepared me for the next experience and the one after that. It taught me about options, and bouncing back after mistakes, and weathering external events that are just unfortunate, even if I didn’t personally set them in motion. In the end, this was one of the best times in my entire career. Why? Because these storms and so-called coincidences helped me to grow exponentially, in ways I never could have imagined.
Going out of your “box”, expanding your horizons and growing, requires some serious shake-ups sometimes. Other times it may require you to listen to your gut, taking out any element of fear, and just going with the flow of what your heart tells you to do. Follow your heart and your mind will handle whatever comes next.
